Conversations with Women about Motherhood

The 11^th of May this year marks the 100^th anniversary of Mother’s Day, an international holiday celebrating mothers worldwide after years of protesting by feminists like Anna Reeves Jarvis for women liberation issues.

By: Letlhogonolo Ndhlovu

ShowMe Pretoria spoke to a 23 year old new mother, Rhulani Serithi who lives with her grandmother in Mamelodi West, Pretoria.

Rhulani is a bubbly, self-assured photographer, much the personality of a Sagittarius. She was kind enough to open her home to ShowMe and share her experience as a new modern mother in South Africa.

I’ve seen that mothers don’t need to say much; just their presence that they are with you is enough…

How old is Ziyah, your light?

Ziyah is 8 months now.

Who are you celebrating your very first Mother’s Day with?

I’ll be celebrating it with my mother and grandmother, we’ll probably have lunch at home, Ziyah is still a baby to celebrate Mother’s day with.

What was your first reaction when you found out you were with child?

I laughed because it couldn’t be happening to me; I was not prepared for the consequences of my actions. I was not in a stable relationship, emotionally and financially and I had plans. I’ve learnt that life happens when you plan.

And what was your reaction when you gave birth?

I cried when I saw her and thought that all the drama, the fighting, the confusion and praying was not in vain.

How has your life changed?

My social life zero and it is okay, I am a mother. I feel like I’ve grown; motherhood and maturity. When I was pregnant I was nervous then all of a sudden I knew what to do when she arrived.

Taking note from what you said about motherhood and maturity, what has motherhood taught you?

Motherhood has taught me to stop seeking, I let things calm down.

What are the lessons you’ve learnt from your mother that you would like to reflect to your baby girl Ziyah?

What I want to take from mother is consistency, to try by all means to always be consistent, to be there for her. My mother always taught me to be confident and I want Ziyah to see that in me so that she grows up confident, I think that’s important.

You are fortunate to be surrounded by age old wisdom, how is it raising your baby living with your grandmother?

Ziyah had an itch in her ear a while ago and my grandmother said that I should take a bit of my breast milk and rub it in her ear and it healed. God is amazing because I often wonder how people got by in the olden days.

My grandmother imparts a lot of her wisdom but some things are challenging, we clash because a lot of things have changed, for example; in African culture a new mother should stay in the house for three months and I don’t understand that as a modern mother and it clashes with the way we do things but I try not to dismiss anything she says.

From your own experience, tell us about the joys of being a mother.

I’m more content, I’m happiest knowing that she is full. Something as simple as that, and when she laughs.

We learn from everyone and everything, what has your daughter Ziyah taught you in the 8 months of her existence?

Ziyah has taught me a lot about God that sometimes you should just let things be. I’ve seen that mothers don’t need to say much; just their presence that they are with you is enough.

What are the challenges of motherhood for you so far?

Babies need stability and right now I need to be stable in my career, relationships, have a routine for her and I am learning.

Mother’s Day is not as warm for every mother in the world, circumstance differ. Children might have passed away, mothers mourning the 267 girls abducted in Nigeria last month and deceased parents leaving children with no mother to celebrate with.

Or it could be a case of an aborted child like Malebo from Sunnyside who opted for an abortion two years ago, “I always wonder what he or she could have looked like,” she said.

Malebo was still in University when she fell pregnant with a baby her boyfriend did not want and had no plans of supporting. Jobless and afraid of disappointing her family all the way in Mafikeng, she made an appointment at a registered woman’s clinic in town, paid a fee of R1200 and waited her turn of agonizing 8 minutes of pain to abort her baby.

She said she would have loved to keep the baby; every Mother’s Day for the past two years as countless adverts replay Mothers Day gift ideas, Malebo has thoughts of, “I am a mother to an unborn child. I am mother even if I did not give birth to my baby, he or she was inside me alive and breathing,” She said.

I am a mother to an unborn child…

It is no longer pains as much because she views the 11^th of May as a day to celebrate her womanhood. She celebrates all mothers, her mother, grandmothers, sisters and friends who have been a part of her journey as the woman she is today.

For the 11^th of May to be declared an international holiday a century ago was the vision of women who wanted liberation in all spheres of life.

Happy Mother’s Day to all women, may the 11^th of May be filled with only love, laughter and light.

Be sure to visit ShowMe Pretoria’s Events and Entertainment page to view events taking place on Mother’s Day and the rest of May.