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Furry Friends – Children and Pets
Being in contact with animals is therapeutic and can teach your child lessons for life.
Can you imagine a rat having an epileptic fit? As a boy, my husband one afternoon discovered his white rat flat on its back, legs twitching in the air and head tipped back.
Hubby quickly opened the cage and resuscitated the poor creature. While holding the rat he blew into its mouth and squeezed it gently once or twice. Amazingly, he tells me, the rat perked up and was back on all fours within seconds.
Many of us would agree that a pet often becomes a beloved member of the family. And the quirkier the animal’s personality, the more it endears itself to us. However, a pet doesn’t just add a colourful dimension to your household. Caring for a pet also teaches children some valuable life lessons.
Choose your Pet with Care
Educational psychologist Maureen Davidow believes that pets bring humour, warmth, excitement and even relaxation into a home. An animal lover herself, she’s quick to make her clients aware of what having a pet really entails: “If my clients with young families want pets, I advise them to do their research thoroughly. They must be realistic about what type of pet they can include in their lifestyle, and whether they have the necessary space, time, energy and finances at their disposal.
…the affection and friendship that an animal offers can be a great support to a child in times of stress…
“Parents have to monitor and supervise the care of a pet,” Davidow advises, adding that no child under 7 can be expected to take responsibility for a pet. “You need to teach your child where the pet’s food is kept, how many times a day it needs to eat and how to clean the food bowls.
“You also need to understand the stage at which your child is able to care for another living creature,” she points out. “Young children live in the present. They find it difficult to plan ahead; to think about the future.”
EduPet veterinary consultant, Dr Quixi Sonntag, echoes Davidow’s sentiments: “The decision to get a pet is a personal one, so have realistic expectations and get expert advice.”
Pets in the Role of Teachers and ‘Therapists’
If properly trained and monitored around children, pets make wonderful companions and teachers. In fact, experts have identified several life skills that children can learn from having a pet:
- Responsibility – teach your child to help you feed a pet, bath it and clean out its basket, cage or tank. Let your child experience how other living things need care and attention too.
- Respect and empathy – teach your child how to be gentle and careful with pets. You can never predict how an animal will react from one day to the next. Davidow recommends taking a pet away for an hour if your child teases or hurts it. Ask your child how she would feel if you pulled her ears or kicked her for fun. This helps to develop an awareness of other people’s feelings too.
- Life and death – pets get old and die or sometimes fall victim to fateful accidents. It’s healthy for children to experience this natural cycle of life, says Davidow.
- Nurturing – taking care of a pet teaches generosity. The ability to give and receive affection turns us into more loving human beings.
- Confidence – animals can’t judge or evaluate behaviour. Children receive unconditional acceptance from a pet, which is good for their self-esteem.
- Resilience and comfort – the affection and friendship that an animal offers can be a great support to a child in times of stress. Animals help relieve loneliness and tension.
- Fresh air and exercise – it’s always better for your child to be chasing the dog around outside than staring at the TV or computer screen.
The First Meeting
One big issue for parents is how to handle bringing a new baby home to a pet. You want your pet to trust that you still love and accept him as part of your ‘pack’. “First and foremost, be sure you can control your pet,” says Sonntag. “If he is calm around you and your friends, reward him with treats so he learns that good behaviour has pleasant consequences.
What’s critical is to teach your animal to enjoy and be relaxed in the company of babies and toddlers. Teach your pet to associate babies and children with positive experiences. For instance, use older children who are relaxed around dogs. Let them feed your dog – hands open, palms up, otherwise the dog may nip at their fingers. A crying doll is great preparation for having a crying baby in the house. Use it to train your dog to remain calm when the doll ‘cries’,” she adds.
5 Quick Tips for the First Meeting
- Make sure all of you (Baby, Mom, Dad and Pet) are calm beforehand.
- Mom must enter the house first while Dad holds the baby. Wait for your pet to calm down and then greet him.
- If he has a boisterous nature, put him on a lead with a head collar (also called a halite), which fits around the muzzle and not the neck. Give your dog a small treat if he’s calm near your baby. Of course, it’s easier if your dog has learned to sit or lie down before getting treats.
- For the introduction, let your dog sniff and even lick your baby.
- Always have pleasant interactions with your dog when your baby is around to ensure your dog never associates your baby with a lack of attention.
Keeping the Peace
Make your home both pet- and baby friendly. Here’s how:
- Use gates to keep your dog (or cat) out of areas you feel should be pet free.
- Create a comfy, safe ‘den’ for your pet that your baby cannot crawl into. Dogs need their special baskets or blankets in a corner, while cats need to have vertical escape routes like shelves or ledges.
- Make your pet’s toys look and smell different to your baby’s. This will prevent a heartbroken toddler and minimise potential grabbing by your pet.
The Family Dog
Take note of the following pointers for choosing a dog and teaching children how to behave around one:
- Avoid large, active breeds and rather opt for medium-sized, sociable breeds if you have small children. Good breeds for young families include beagles, dachshunds, poodles (toy miniature or standard), rough collies, pugs or Pekingese.
- Be aware of what your chosen dog needs, as some breeds require a lot more stimulation and exercise than others.
- Attend puppy classes to help you manage your dog. Training a larger dog is very important, as you need to establish control over a strong animal – they could cause injuries (even if only by accident) and you don’t want them to frighten your children or visitors to your home.
- Make sure your puppy has been vaccinated and de-wormed, and maintain regular visits to the vet as your dog gets older.
- Allow your toddler, as soon as she is able, to offer your dog treats in an open palm. Only allow her to give a treat if the dog has followed your instruction. This way your dog sees her as a provider of treats, rather than as a threat.
- Teach your toddler to leave a dog alone if he’s eating or sleeping. Get her to read negative body language from dogs (turning his head aside, walking away or growling) and to respect it.
- Show your child that keeping still around an over-excited dog is the best thing to do.
Resources
- ‘Kids and Pets – Risks and benefits’ by Dr Quixi Sonntag
- www.petplace.com
Text by Ruth Rehbock. Photo by Getty Images. Article taken from the February 2010 edition of Living and Loving.
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