Stuck? How to Break the Pattern
Stuck again? Sick of running into brick walls? So stop running into them! Problem is many of us do not even realise we are running towards it. We are unaware of our patterns.
We all feel stuck at times. One of the most empowering things during transformation is when you start noticing patterns. But the tricky thing about patterns though is we are often unaware of them. Especially our own patterns.
But recognising other people’s patterns? No problem! It’s a bit like when you notice someone has a “tell”. What do I mean by a tell? A tell is that something that a person does unconsciously, that other people notice. Like repeating the same phrase all the time, whether it fits or not – like “knowwhatimean”, or twitching their face, or a certain posture they assume. Most “tells” irritate the hell out of the observer. You start focusing so much on it that it becomes hard to focus on what the person is actually saying (especially when it’s a speaker!). And once you’ve noticed it, it’s hard to not see it.
Perhaps there are patterns we would prefer not to see or hear. But that is the thing about patterns; sometimes our heads are buried in the sand because these may not be the things that we are very proud of. But, in transformation, they are often the very things that we need to shine the light on.
Perhaps you are busy with a personal transformation and perhaps you are stuck. So to change your outcome, you need to change your patterns. Once you are aware of it.
So, how do you become aware of it?
By noticing a few things:
Notice your behaviour or reactions
The key in noticing your behaviour is to do it objectively, without emotional reactions. Think back to the last time you got upset about something. Pretend you are a fly on the wall watching, or a that you are in the cinema watching a movie of the event. See if you can objectively separate the message you need to get, from the people in the event. Message? Yes, of course! It is always about what you need to see or learn. I bet you will also see a pattern in your reactions.
Notice how you feel
An even easier way to become aware of your patterns is to become aware of what happens physiologically. Your body is a machine; it transmits messages constantly. Only problem is, most of us have become blissfully numb to it. That tightness in your stomach, the shallow breathing, that twitch in a muscle – many of us have learnt to ignore it. Pay attention – is your chest constricting, your facial expression changing? Is this perhaps a pattern? What is it telling you?
Notice other people’s reactions
Yes, even this can help. Right or wrong, fair or not, if other people are always reacting in the same way, shouldn’t it tell you something about you? For instance, if you are constantly being misunderstood, could you consider that it could be that you are not explaining properly? What are you projecting? Is there a pattern?
Not so easy, right? We’re always better unravelling the “characters” in a movie than our own character! The first – and very liberating – step in breaking a pattern is to become aware of it. And you become aware by noticing and paying attention.
About the author:
Celeste Du Toit is a transformational Life Coach, NLP practitioner, healer and speaker based in Durban. She is passionate about working with people who dare to dream or think out of the box, and who long for “something more”.
Celeste runs 1:1 sessions, group workshops and retreats in which she guides people towards sustainable change. Her next retreat is in November 2016in KZN Midlands during which she teaches participants to implement these practices in a practical, sustainable way.
Connect with Celeste on www.yesparadigm.co.za or visit www.yesparadigm.co.za