How you can expect your life to change after divorce
Choosing to divorce is a massive decision and one which shouldn’t be rushed into.
After all, research has found that one in five people regret being divorced after doing so.
The reality is your life is likely to change drastically if you decide to make this decision.
You were probably together for a few years before getting married and you’ve been together for a few years since.
That’s a lifetime of memories, habits and routines to alter. For many years they were your buddy, your constant companion at your side.
Until they weren’t. For whatever reason, you stopped finding them to be your ideal partner. But deciding to divorce is one thing, knowing what to expect and living with your decision is another entirely. Here are some tips for how you can expect your life to change and how to deal with those changes.
You’ll have to take some time to grieve
A divorce is similar to a death. It is, after all, the death of your relationship. Experts recommend you take at least a year to fully grieve the end of your marriage. That means no new relationships during this time. You have to give yourself time to heal. You’ll likely still be carrying around a lot of that baggage at the moment and you wouldn’t want to bring that into a new relationship, would you?
You’ll have to change your living situation
One of the biggest changes that you’ll need to adjust to is a physical move. If you have children, you’ll need to take their needs into account as you’ll probably still need to be close to their school. And you’ll need to figure out how you’re going to do all those things that you used to divide between each other. If your partner used to take out the dustbin every Wednesday night, you’re going to need to do that. And if they were the one who bought electricity every time that annoying meter beeped, you’re going to need to do that.
You’ll have to become used to living on one income
This is a big one. You’ll need to soon become used to your likely reduced quality of life created by slashing your monthly income in two. You’ll have to decide what your priorities truly are and commit to changing your lifestyle. A person who is well-adjusted after their divorce does not rely on their former spouse for money. Nor do they view the option of finding a new partner as their solution.
You’ll have to divide all household objects
If you were married for 10 years, who can even remember who bought the fridge or paid for the washing machine. But the reality is you’re going to have to divide your assets. And the one who doesn’t get the assets will have to have the money available to buy new objects for their home. This can get messy, especially as you begin to divide the sentimental items. It’s not going to lead to an amicable divorce if you throw all their clothing out the windows or cut their faces out of all your honeymoon snaps.
You’ll have to change your schedule
If you relied on your partner to pick up the kids from school or drop them off in the morning, you’re going to need to adjust your schedule. It’s time to think carefully about what you’re able to do each day and what leeway your workplace offers. There are likely some other divorced colleagues around you. This might be the time to strike up a conversation with them and find out how they’ve adjusted their schedules.
You’ll have to look after your children
And not just physically. They’ll likely be struggling emotionally after the divorce and you’ll need to be there for them. This can be a difficult time for them and it’s up to you to talk them through each change. Remember, you and your ex are going to have to co-parent your children for the rest of your lives. You’re going to have to find a way to get along with them. And by agreeing to make your children a priority, you can look after your children and each other.
You’ll have to become used to your own company
Perhaps the most difficult adjustment of all. You’re likely going to be spending a lot more time alone, especially in the first year. This is your time to truly get to know yourself, find your interests and develop more hobbies. By doing this, you will eventually begin to make new friends, widen your interests and heal from the traumatic experience of divorce.