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The Healing of Suffering is Compassion

What is the Ballito Cancer Support Network

The Ballito Cancer Support Network (BCSN) was founded by local businesswoman Jaime Ernst in 2008 as a support network community driven, volunteer based organisation that supports patients, families, loved ones and friends of cancer patients.

Jaime has personal experience of the traumatic effect of cancer. Her brother, Chris, died of leukemia whilst she was undergoing radical treatment for breast cancer from which she is currently in remission.

As a qualified Intensive Care Unit (ICU) nurse she has a deep understanding of the importance of compassionate support for cancer sufferers and their families and her aim is for this to be readily available in the Dolphin Coast community.

Our Mission

“To Provide Support in service to the

community in which ever way we can”

“Caring through Support”

Cancer Support Ballito Durban

Ballito & KZN Cancer Support Network
jaime@cancersupportballito.org.za

The Healing of Suffering is Compassion

Jaime’s Story

The cancer experience was unlike anything I had faced before…It is difficult to edit life, especially in regard to feelings. Not being open to anger or sadness usually means being unable to be open to love and joy. The emotions seem to operate with an all-or-nothing switch. I began to find more meaning and more depth, more awe in the ordinary. I was stripped of my trust and my physical strength and vitality and my crowning glory! “HAIR”. I had to find a greater trust in other more hidden parts of myself…..but I survived. We all can influence the life force. The tools and strategies of healing are so innate, so much a part of a common human birthright, that we believers in technology pay very little attention to them. But they have lost none of their power. People have been healing each other since the beginning. Long before there were surgeons, psychologists, oncologists, and internists, we were there for each other. The healing of our present woundedness may lie in recognizing and reclaiming the capacity we all have to heal each other, the enormous power in the simplest of human relationships: the strength of a touch, the blessing of forgiveness, the grace of someone else taking you just as you are and finding in you an unsuspected goodness. Everyone alive has suffered. It is the wisdom gained from our wounds and from our own experiences suffering that makes us able to heal. Becoming expert has turned out to be less important than remembering and trusting the wholeness in myself and everyone else. Expertise cures, but wounded people can best be healed by other wounded people. Only other wounded people can understand what is needed, for the healing of suffering is compassion, not expertise.

jaime@cancersupportballito.org.za

Deirdre’s Story

My name is Deirdre Aveyard; I am 50 and have survived breast cancer. And I am here to tell you that Breast cancer is not a death sentence!

Being diagnosed with breast cancer is an enormous shock to ones system. This is something that only ever happens to someone who knows someone who knows someone.

I am now a someone!

December 2007, whilst showering, I noticed an indentation on my left breast right above the nipple. I made an appointment to see my GP. I saw him and had an URGENT mammogram and ultra sound on the 28^th December. The day before my 48^thbirthday. The radiologist urged me to return to my GP as soon as possible, I went straight back. I could tell that both the radiologist and my doctor were very worried.

I could only meet with the surgeon on the 4^th of January 2008. A fine needle biopsy was performed and I had the results two days later. The cells had tested positive for cancer.

When the surgeon confirmed my diagnosis I shed a few tears and, Okay so I admit I was blown away….for all of 30 seconds. I mean long blonde hair and breasts that were still firm!

But then it hit me………..there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. The worst thing would be telling family and friends and having to deal with their grief and anger and worry.

I realised that worrying would not solve anything, and resolved not to do any worrying at all. Surely if worrying helped, I could ask everybody I knew to worry with me and I would be cured! No – worrying was and still is a pointless past time.

I went into acceptance mode. My husband, John, was with me every step of the way and helped in ways nobody could or would have imagined.

My surgery went well, half my left breast was removed and a couple of lymph glands as they were also cancerous. I went home and recovered well.

Next on the “TO DO LIST”- 6 chemotherapy treatments, which I had to do in Durban at the oncologists rooms. Chemotherapy for me was a living hell. I was as sick as I could be. For 6 long days I lay curled up in bed, with nausea, migraine, mouth ulcers, diarrhoea, constipation, in fact everything the little information booklet said could go wrong…….did! The hair loss for me was not an issue and I had my long blonde hair cut short at the beginning of chemo. When it started to fall out, I asked my husband John to shave it off. I have a problem with loose hair and could and still cannot abide it anywhere. It was easier to shave than to have hair on my hands and in my bed etc. On the 7^th day after treatment, I would leap out of bed as if nothing had happened. With two weeks to go before the next treatment. My second to last treatment of chemo just pushed the envelope a bit too far and I became Type 2 diabetic. But chemo ends!!

The radiation was very tiring. An hour trip to Parklands Hospital for a 5 minute radiate and then an hour back home. This was my own fault as I had so many offers of lifts through every day but chose to do it myself. I did not want to put anybody “out”. A long 6 weeks BUT this also ends!

I did not wear wigs or hats, scarves etc. I did nothing to bring this disease on and refused to be ashamed or embarrassed by it. I met the most amazing people – angels everywhere you look.

Doing small things to make life easier for you. The most unlikely people in the most unlikely places.

I drank more homemade concoctions than I care to recall. Beetroot and red wine (not to clever first thing in the morning), honey and aloe Vera all designed to stop my hair falling out. Thanks friends unfortunately it did not work. But I was honoured that they cared enough about me to go to these extraordinary lengths.

John was fantastic and fended phone calls. Friends did not take offence if I did not call back. They just kept on phoning and mailing and texting.

There are so many positives that come from facing a life threatening disease!

You suddenly realise how short life actually is and you learn to make the most of every day. You start from scratch cherishing the people you love, doing what makes you happy, taking time out but best of all understanding that worry cannot cure you, so why waste the energy. My mother had a particularly bad time with MY cancer. And that’s what it is – mine or yours.

I wore my bald head with pride and my radiation marks as a badge of honour to have conquered this disease with the help of so many wonderful people.

Good attitude is vital – Cancer may take a breast or two and in some cases your hair But it sure as hell ain’t taking anything else from me.

I have far too much on my “To Do” list to do!

CANCER……………………………………….

It’s knowing that you are not alone and that others have fought and won against this disease.

deirdre@cancersupportballito.org.za

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