Moving to a new coastal town can be daunting. Finding a home and jobs would be easy. Fitting in to the social scene and building relationships is the real challenge. What to do & how to do it – Ballito Style!

For newcomers, the Dolphin Coast (just north of Durban) is remarkably similar to Victorian England. No, we don’t sweat under copious layers of imported silk anymore…but similar standards of etiquette are alive and well starched.

An ‘Introduction’, whether formally or surreptitiously asked for is still required…

The born and bred North-coasters will disagree. Their claim to be fun, open and friendly is well-qualified. Large dinner parties are regularly held at homestead farms and plush private patios within the country’s most sort after estates. The beach is a regular playground for ‘surf and sun-downers.’ The school parking lot is a buzz of gossip and D.I.Y tips.

What the North-coasters seldom see is the large social gatherings for which the coast is famous are predominantly ‘Local’ only. A ‘Newbie’ can be excluded without the Local even being aware of it.

For a North Coast Newbie – A few tips to Break In.

The Beach

This is central to the North Coaster’s lifestyle. They can be a little territorial over it. Unless you are a Pro Surfer, do not try to enter their water without first breaking into the social network.

1. Salt Rock Main Beach is the venue for ‘Surf and Sun-downers’ most great evenings. Males will take to the surf with boards at around 4pm. Ladies will huddle in gossip groups until their men emerge from the water – either after sun-set or a shark is spotted for their dusk feed, whichever comes first.

2. Cooler boxes of beverage and snacks usually appear at dusk. Snacks can be shared. Try not to be without your own beverage. North Coasters do not like a chap who ‘bums’ a beer from them. They tend to like a chap who offers several of his own.

3. 7 pm on a school night or later during the holidays the beach-goers go home. If you are invited to join for a spontaneous meal at a restaurant, you have made good ground and may soon be invited into the water with them. If not, resume steps 1 and 2 until an invitation is forthcoming. This may take several months. Don’t despair, you will eventually be accepted as a ‘regular’.

4. A Whatsup giving the best surf spot of the day is an indication you are IN. (If you don’t surf, you could take a few lessons (The Secret Spot Surf Camp is a good starting point) until you are proficient to at least get to back line where you can chat and get to know each other.)

Williards Beach in Ballito tends to a teen audience with holiday makers flocking here in season. Of course, the world famous The Ballito Pro by Billabong draws locals and tourists alike. Don’t miss the free concerts (powered by 5Fm) on Salt Rock Main Beach during the course of the Pro.

For the Newbie Male, some form of physical activity is almost certainly a criteria to fitting in. If surfing, ski-boat fishing or paddle-ski fishing is not your thing, Mountain Bike Riding at Holla Trails at Sugar Rush Park offers an acceptable alternative. Golf, although we have some fine courses, is not generally a ‘local’ pastime, but Fridays (any time after 11 am!) many business owners gather at Simbithi Country Club for a four-ball afternoon. For seniors, Umhlali Bowling Club is to the elder Newbie what surfing is to the young.

THE SECRET SPOT BACKPACKER AND SURF CAMP: Offers budget accommodation for ‘footloose and fancy-free’ travelers, surf lessons and guided surf tours to various popular surf destinations. Spontaneous social ‘Braai’s’ and music evenings have been known to occur around the swimming pool too. Contact: 032 525 5480 | The Secret Spot

BOBS BOOT CAMP: Fresh from Sharks Training Camp, Bob Russell is whipping North Coasters into shape. His early morning classes at Umhlali Preparatory School and Salt Rock Main Beach are well attended. He will shout and you may vomit. Persevere. Yummy Mummy classes at 08h30 are a milder form of torture and more conducive to breaking in to the female social network. Contact: 082 441 7958

Clubs

Ballito may be renowned for its ‘Beach Brawn’ or ‘Beach Beauties’ but the area also has some cultural depth. Local art, sport and recreational clubs are a simple way to find like-minded locals or discover new interests.

ART AND CRAFT SOCIAL GATHERINGS: Ballito Art and Crafts Store at The Quarter Boutique Shopping Centre host a variety of crafting workshops in-store. Whether you are a dabbler in a new format or a semi-professional looking for some casual camaraderie, various classes and workshops in different mediums are held regularly here. Contact: 032 946 3998

DOLPHIN COAST BIRD CLUB: This group meet regularly for planned excursions, often in the early morning or later evening. Contact Chris MacDonald on 082 879 4681.

DOLPHIN COAST STRIDERS is a running club where members meet each Wednesday for a group run or walk. Some members prefer to skip either and make a head start on the ‘social’ aspect of the club at the Salt Rock Country Club (opposite Salt Rock Hotel) clubhouse.

Monthly time trials are followed by a ‘Bring and Braai’ on the premises on the last Wednesday of each month. Contact: Gary Henwood-Fox at dolphincoaststriders@gmail.com

BALLITO PHOTO CLUB : Driven by a group of local photographic enthusiasts, the club arranges various photographic outings though the year. The objective of the club is for new or experienced photographers to share their knowledge and experience and enjoy photographic driven excursions in the area. Contact Ken Mann on 082775 7765.

UMHLALI GARDEN CLUB has been in the area for eons. Often meeting at Driefontein Garden Centre at the Litchi Orchard for informative talks on various gardening issues, the group also explore private gardens in the area. Contact Pam Jacob for more information: 032 525 7748

BALLITO ROTARY CLUB meet every first and third Wednesday of the month at Simbithi Country Club for an 07h30 breakfast meeting. Despite its reputation for being for the old and grey, the Rotary Club is for anyone who wishes to join a highly motivated group of people working together for the goodness of humanity. The club ethos to ‘bring together business and professional leaders in order to provide humanitarian services and help build goodwill and peace in the world,’ pervades throughout the global organization. This ensures a meeting of like-minds in any club across the country or abroad. Contact Simon Swan on 082 334 3281.

Children

In few other communities in the world will your child be as cared for than in the Dolphin Coast community! It is an unwritten by-law of the area that any child will have some form of adult supervision on him/ her at all times. Children still feel free to roam the streets en-route from their homes to the beach and may stop by a friend for a moment or a weekend…and will be cheerfully received, fed and bathed accordingly. Children playing in the surf will be watched by all adults on the beach. If one gets into difficulty, any adult will respond. If a family has snacks on the beach, these will be shared with any child in the vicinity looking to need sustenance. Sunscreen is equally dished out.

“Your child is our child” pretty much covers it.

Adults with children certainly have an easier time breaking in to the Ballito social scene. Child-orientated play dates often dissolve into adult orientated ones as the day or evening wears on. The school fundraising group invariably opens conversation in the school parking lot which can lead to social integration. School sports events, particularly 5 hours of cricket on a Saturday morning, provides opportunity to dialogue with other local adults.

Any relationship takes time and effort to develop. Breaking into a new social network is not easy, but it can be done with the same. Get out and about, enjoy what this beautiful coastline has to offer. Talk to anyone and everyone. It will come the time when you are the ‘Local’ and a ‘Newbie’ is hovering on the boundaries of your social sector hoping for that first introduction IN.