A Hidden Affliction – and it concerns our kids…
A Hidden Affliction
There is a hidden affliction that’s unfolding today in our homes and it concerns our most prized possessions: our kids. Our kids are in a very devastating emotional state.
Within the last 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics that point to a steady increase in childhood mental disease that’s now reaching epidemic proportions.
Statistics don’t lie:
- 1 in 5 children have psychological state problems.
- A 43% increase in ADHD has been noted.
- A 37% increase in adolescent depression has been noted.
- There has been a 200% increase in the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14.
What is happening to us and what are we doing wrong as parents?
Today’s children are being over-stimulated and over-gifted with material objects, but they’re bereft of the basics of a healthy childhood, such as:
- Emotionally available parents.
- Clearly defined limits.
- Responsibilities.
- Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep.
- Movement normally but especially outdoors.
- Creative play, social interaction, and unstructured game opportunities.
Instead, in recent years, children are filled with:
- Digitally distracted parents.
- Indulgent and permissive parents who let children “rule their world”.
- a way of right, of deserving everything without earning it or being accountable for obtaining it.
- Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition.
- A sedentary lifestyle.
- Endless stimulation, technological nannies, instant gratification, and an absence of boring moments.
How will we remedy this?
If we wish our youngsters to be happy and healthy individuals, we have to get back to basics. It’s still possible! Many families see immediate improvements after weeks of implementing the subsequent recommendations:
- Set limits and remember that you just are the captain of the ship. Your children will feel more confident knowing that you simply have control of the helm.
- Offer children a balanced lifestyle stuffed with what children NEED, not just what they want. Do not be afraid to mention “no” to your children if what they want isn’t what they have.
- Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.
- Spend a minimum of one hour on a daily basis outdoors doing activities like cycling, walking, fishing, bird/insect watching, or just playing with your kids.
- Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or distracting technology.
- Play board games as a family or if children are very small for board games, get them curious by their following their interests and permit them to rule the invented game that’s age-appropriate.
- Involve your children in some household chores in step with their age (folding clothes, ordering toys, hanging clothes, unpacking the food, setting the table, feeding the dog, etc.)
- Implement a uniform sleep routine to confirm your child gets enough sleep. The schedules are even more important for school-age children.
- Teach responsibility and independence. Don’t overprotect them against all frustration or mistakes. Misunderstandings will help them build resilience and learn to beat life’s challenges,
- Don’t carry your children’s backpack, don’t carry the homework they forgot, don’t peel bananas or peel oranges if they can manage on their own (4-5 years). Rather than giving them the fish, teach them to fish.
- Teach them to attend and delay gratification.
- Provide opportunities for “boredom” since boredom is that the moment when creativity awakens. Don’t feel answerable for always keeping children entertained.
- Don’t use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it at the primary second of inactivity.
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- Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping centers. Use these moments as opportunities to socialise by training the brains to grasp a way to work once they are in mode: “boredom”.
- Help them create a “bottle of boredom” with activity ideas for after they are bored.
- Be emotionally available to attach with children and teach them self-regulation and social skills.
- shut down the phones at the hours of darkness when children need to go to bed to avoid digital distraction.
- Become a regulator or emotional trainer for your children. Teach them to acknowledge and manage their own frustrations and anger.
- Teach them to greet, to require turns, to share without running out of anything, to mention many thanks and please, to acknowledge the error and apologise (do not force them), be a model of all those values you instill.
- Connect emotionally – smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, play or crawl with them.
I hope that these recommendations help us to create better environments for our youngsters for they are our future.
About Nicolette Meyer
Nicolette is a Registered Psychological Counsellor and life coach in Private Practice in Ballito, KZN. I do work with children, adolescents and adults. My aim is to help people to overcome their problems and cope with tough situations by providing a safe, nurturing, confidential and encouraging environment in which to contemplate their emotional state.
My job is to assist people by offering them a structured and focused way of addressing their problems.
I do family therapy, couples therapy, one-to-one meetings and all avenues of Employee Wellness, in which I help people with all kinds of difficulties, from post-traumatic stress to relationship problems.
I help people to explore feelings and emotions that are often related to their experiences. This allows my clients to reflect on what is happening to them and consider alternative ways of doing things.
I work in a confidential, relaxed setting and listen attentively to my clients. The aim is reduce their confusion and enable them to cope with challenges or to make positive changes in their life where necessary.
www.lifepsyche.co.za | 081 028 1258