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The Greatest Show on Earth
Text: Leilani Basson. Photography: GG van Rooyen, Anzet du Plessis and Leilani Basson. Article from the February 2013 issue of Leisure Wheels Magazine.
It was a marvellous safari in all respects. But to make this kind of magic happen in true travelling circus style, and “wow” our guests all the way, the Leisure Wheels team had to come together and perform like the legendary Barnum and Bailey
We are an odd bunch at Leisure Wheels, but having to put on a show second to none, and conduct a trip with 11 double cab 4x4s through Namibia, brought out the performer in all of us.
Our travelling circus act comprised the Ringmaster (editor Jannie Herbst), the Middlebush Giant (Jannie’s tall wife, Maryke), General Tom Thumb (not-so-tall contributing editor Danie Botha), Harry Houdini (escape artist Anzet du Plessis), Frank Lentini, the three-legged man (Gert van Rooyen and his monopod) and one of the Flying Wallendas (dare devil photographer Leilani Basson).
Getting the show on the road was hard work. Our advance men, General Thumb and Frank Lentini, had to drive to Namibia two days ahead to get the guests’ “seats” ready and make sure that what we had rehearsed and planned in Johannesburg would pan out once we were travelling through the land of sand.
The rest of the Leisure Wheels performers made a star landing at the Hosea Kutako Airport in Windhoek with our guests in tow.
With no time to spare, the guests were shown to their seats (each in a different make of 4×4 double cab bakkie). The backup crew, Houdini, Frank Lentini and Flying Wallenda, would travel together in a Nissan X-trail 2.5 4×4 SE, while General Thumb, the Ringmaster and Mrs Middlebush would conduct the show from the front of a Pajero 3.2 Di-D Legend.
The first part of the show was more like a prelude – a glimpse of what was to come. We embarked on a leisurely drive to a place called The Place in Okahandja for a premature interval. Our guests could relax with a sandwich and juice in the lapa, and then stock up on drinks and snacks for the rest of the trip.
While General Thumb and Frank Lentini had private rehearsals at the bar, the rest of the Leisure Wheels performers were at the Ringmaster’s beck and call and made sure the snacks, drinks, serviettes and plates kept coming.
That night, just outside the town of Omaruru, our first “performance” received a standing ovation. Omaruru Game Lodge’s wild animals put on a concert of their own.
They made close contact with guests on the veranda of the restaurant, with only a fence pole and concrete slab between them. The enchantment was on – especially as guests were able to scratch a rhino behind the ears and feed him with game pellets, and touch elands’ horns and stroke their faces.
Sadly our proposed show stopper of General Thumb making a grand appearance atop a zebra with a feather in his hat didn’t pan out. But for the guests, this was nevertheless entertainment second to none, and a first for most of them.
Next morning after breakfast (the very breakfast we believe killed Frank’s gusto for the rest of the trip) we hit the road in convoy again. Today was the day when the X-trail acrobats were to strut their stuff in the dry bed of the Omaruru River.
Houdini had the unenviable task of doing what she does best: escaping danger and avoiding humiliating stalls and getting stuck in the deep river sand. Now this took some doing in an X-trail, fitted with selective 4WD that really didn’t make it the ideal mode for driving at top speed through thick river sand.
But, as they say, the show must go on, and Houdini kept the X’ie moving and manoeuvring in unimaginable ways.
The Flying Wallenda hung out of the windows and performed all sorts of stunts in getting the best action pictures of the convoy from all possible angles. With the speed Houdini had to maintain, Wallenda was really flying at times, fighting with flyaway hair in her mouth and eyes.
Frank Lentini had to get the perfectly composed and exposed manually taken photographs with his monopod as often as possible. He would manoeuvre his three legs in and out of the vehicle with such skill that Houdini hardly made a pit stop.
Throughout, we had only circus chatter in the car. Sadly the X-trail offered no USB ports for the music Frank had prepared for the trip. And Houdini and Wallenda had failed to bring any CDs along, so while not performing, we could either listen to Kanaal 7 when the signal was strong enough, or suffer Frank’s dry remarks and killer humour, despite his queasiness increasing with Houdini’s zig-zag driving in the sand.
Our midday show would take place at Spitzkoppe, a natural wonder of granite peaks somewhere between Usakos and Henties Bay in the Tsiseb Conservancy.
Getting to the famous outcrops was hard driving, with Houdini sometimes working up a bit of burning clutch odour, but thankfully the X-trail never overheated.
The guests oohed and aaahed as they were led by the Ringmaster to a place that looked like an eye carved out of rock, for a special group photograph. Mrs Middlebush and General Thumb opted to stay close to the vehicles to discuss the next two acts, which were sure to stun our guests.
Knowing that we were running on a tight schedule, the Ringmaster ordered the guests back to their seats. The next few hours would entail more tiring sand driving on two-spoor tracks, a bit of tar driving past Arandis and eventually the sand of the dry Swakop River.
To our amazement, we drove through a part of the desert where the new Mad Max film was being shot. The ravine was studded with props of the film set, adding some unexpected entertainment to our road show.
While Houdini did what she does best, Frank and Wallenda took thousands of pictures of the film sets and the convoy of double cabs winding their way around the mountainous river bends.
General Thumb raced towards the “big top arena” – a specific spot in the desert where an aerial show that would put PT Barnum to shame would shortly ensue. We were glad to see that our “interval” was going to take place just as planned.
A beautifully set table stacked with oysters, champagne and other festive snacks awaited our guests like an apparition in the dry river bed. As they exclaimed in wonder, the Ringmaster and Mrs Middlebush made sure the rest of the Leisure Wheels troupers were armed with either video cameras or still cameras to capture what was about to happen.
An airplane flew over. The only things missing were a show ring and a drum roll.
Then the Ringmaster’s long planned “cloud swing” took centre stage. Five skydivers tumbled out of the plane and swooped down in front of our cameras to deliver some more champers to our awe-inspired, speechless guests.
But there was more to come. We were again beckoned to the vehicles to hit the “sawdust trail” to the main attraction, where our Ringmaster would pull one of his best tricks out of his hat. From nowhere, an illuminated tent town appeared in the desert like a mirage. This was where our guests would be entertained for the rest of the evening.
Parking alongside the other vehicles in the “parking lot”, the X-trail seemed relieved to cool down after a hard day’s work. So was Frank. Whatever was in that breakfast really got to him now, and he made an early night of it.
Houdini and Wallenda had other plans. Playing the roles of Emit Kelly (the sad, poor clown) and Marvellous Mable Stark (the tiger and wolf tamer), they had the guests in stitches until quite late that evening, while the Ringmaster, Mrs Middlebush and General Thumb made more serious conversation at their tables.
We were up early next morning to get the convoy on the road again for another act at Kulala Desert Lodge, somewhere near Sesriem and Sossusvlei. The fairytale tent town would disappear in a few hours, leaving no trace that it had ever been there – thanks once again to the Ringmaster’s extraordinary organisational skills. It was time for Houdini to control that clutch again, but luckily a lot of tar could be expected on the way to Swakopmund, and good gravel to the lodge.
Our interlude at Solitaire was a bit of a disappointment – the apple pie that this one-horse town is renowned for was not up to scratch. Luckily the ice cream from an unrelated cafe did add a bit of flavour to it, but not even Houdini could turn it into something special.
Kulala Lodge is a stunning venue with magical views of the barren, yet beautiful landscape. For one night only we allowed the guests off the hook early, since the next day was set to be another action-packed time of driving and discovery. Dinner was a splendid affair in the lodge restaurant, and most of the guests retired early.
Our X’ie was in for another day of challenges: the thick, red, dune sand of the Sossusvlei conservancy. To witness the spectacle of the illustrious Sossusvlei required a lengthy and arduous walk deep into the dunes. Unfortunately there was no hocus-pocus to deliver us quickly to the right spot, so while the Ringmaster, General Thumb and the still not so quirky Frank Lentini waited in the cool shade of a huge camel thorn tree, Houdini and Wallenda joined the guests in their quest.
Miraculously, most of them made it up one of the highest dunes and Houdini took a few nice pictures to prove it. Sadly, Wallenda did not fly and ran out of puff halfway up.
From there we were to drive to the spectacular Sesriem Canyon – another showpiece from Mother Nature that really captures the imagination. Since Frank was not up to it, Houdini and Wallenda were left to perform a double act.
Houdini showed off her talents by opening a Hunters Dry without a bottle opener, seat belt clip or other tools – magical stuff indeed! Unfortunately she failed to pull some ice out of her hat…
That night the Ringmaster had one last trick up his sleeve: a surprise dinner in the koppies near Kulala Lodge. Another fairy town appeared out of the darkness as we drove closer: brown paper bags with candles lit the path from the parking spot to the dining area. It was beautiful, and undoubtedly the encore act of the 2012 Leisure Wheels Industry Trip.
To top it all, the guests put on a show for us around the campfire that evening. Each “vehicle” had to deliver an item of their own. We sat in a circle around the fire. It was the ideal circus ground, with the full moon making the perfect spotlight on our performing artists. So our Namibian adventure ended on a high note, and the show was over and out.
All that remained was to get the X-trail and the rest of the convoy safely back to Hosea Kutaka Airport in Windhoek. Houdini – hit it!
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