You’re single. He’s single. No sex. No commitment. So what’s wrong with that?

No matter what the fairy-tales say, love and life don’t always magically meld together. Whether you don’t have time for love, or finding it’s proving more difficult than the final round of The Weakest Link, it’s not the most practical thing in the world to have around. Step in the guy friend you’ve always had a bit of chemistry with, and friends with benefits ensue. As orgasmically convenient as that sounds, like most things out there, it’s very often too good to be true.

Why you should go there…

The world’s a different place than it used to be. We girls have lots of things going on… friends to entertain, families to placate, studies to ace, careers to succeed in – the list goes on. So, sometimes, having a fulfilling relationship isn’t on the cards. Instead of looking for Mr Right, you’re probably looking for Mr Right Now. Nothing wrong there. And just because we’re lacking a boyfriend, doesn’t mean we’re lacking that little female urge, which makes us want to get it on.

If vibrating toys aren’t your thing, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place – the hard place possibly being your gorgeous-since-high-school guy friend. Here are the main benefits of getting it on with a guy friend:

• You can trust each other. Whether you’re worried about STDs (which you should be), or locker-room talk, your guy friend should have your back.
• You don’t have to pretend to like his other friends, car or mom… you just need to like his bedroom technique.
• No admin! Between paying your clothing accounts on time and booking your car in for a service, you’ll be grateful to know that SMSing a guy every hour to let him know where you are is a reality you won’t have to deal with.
• Some nights we like to curl up in our ratty PJs and watch reruns of Sex and the City, and some nights we want to cry our eyes out ’cause we want some male company. There’s no shame in the former and cue guy friend for the latter.
• It’s sex. It sounds crude and insensitive, but we all know that not all sexual encounters have to start with gentle caresses and finish of with “I love you”. Sometimes we have urges, and we just need them to be met. Full stop.

Why you shouldn’t go anywhere near there…

As with any kind of relationship in life, things are more complicated than they seem, no matter how hard we try to simplify them. And your friend, no matter how many benefits he may have, is no different.

You’re not a robot. You have a thing called emotion…

We hate to put a damper on anything as hot as sizzling sex, but here are the reasons why shacking up with your pal may not be the smartest thing in the world:

• You could be missing out on a guy who’ll actually take you to a movie and dinner before sticking his hand up your skirt. If you’re fiddling with your friend you might not see the potential in other guys out there.
• Because the two of you aren’t in a relationship, there’s no rule that says he can’t be sleeping with someone else as well. Which introduces the problem of STDs, an issue you shouldn’t have to deal with.
• You’re not a robot. You have a thing called emotion and no matter how hard you try keep up the I’ll-never-be-affected-by-emotions attitude, well, never say never (as the cocky saying goes). It’s true. There’s a strong possibility that you’ll start developing feelings for Mr Friend – and if he doesn’t reciprocate the love, it’ll end in Oprah-worthy tears.

So next time you crave a booty-call at 2am, it might be an idea to reach for your vibrating bunny, who, by the way, will never give you an STD, distract you from Prince Charming, or break your precious little heart (and orgasms are guaranteed).

Text by Nikki Stevenson. This article was taken from the March 2010 edition of Cleo.