Questions to ask before getting married
When you decide to get married it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of it all.
It’s not exactly the time in your life when you most want to be rational. However, there are things you seriously need to consider before you tie the knot.
Is this person financially sound?
No, we didn’t just jump back to the 1950s. “Financially sound” doesn’t mean that your partner is able to support and provide for you and your preferred lifestyle. This means that you need to know what their financial situation is before you get married. For example, are they stuck in a cycle of debt? Do they have a large number of loans that you’ll have to help pay off? Do they require debt counselling?
Are you going to get an ante-nuptial agreement?
Whether or not you get an ante-nuptial agreement is up to you. You know yourself and your relationship better than anyone. Do you have assets that you need to protect? Does your work involve risks that could influence your partner with regards to credit and debt? You need to investigate these things and discuss them with your partner.
What are your expectations when it comes to having a family?
It’s not just about whether you want to have children, it’s about how many children you want and how you want to raise them. Do you share the same religion and will you raise your children according to that religion? If you have separate faiths, what will you teach your children? You’re starting a family by getting married and it’s important that you’re on the same page from the very beginning.
Where do you see yourself living?
Have you ever discussed where you’d like to live with your partner? Even if you already live together, you may find they have a different idea of where they would like to live once you’re married. Are you interested in staying in the big city even if/after you have children? Or would you prefer to move to the suburbs and are they okay with this?
What are your career ambitions and are they on board?
You don’t need to know all the ins and outs of your career path, but you do need to think about where you want to go professionally. If your future career involves a lot of travelling this will impact your spouse, especially if you have children. Likewise, if you have a demanding job that requires a lot of overtime, your spouse should be aware of your plans.
You’ve most likely already thought a lot about your relationship, like when you first moved in together, but this is not about romance or compatibility. At the end of the day you’re signing on to spend your life with this person, so it’s important that you consider things rationally.